• The Future Present

Everything I have ever envisioned about the concept of “the future” as a high-tech fast-paced environment pretty much boils down to whatever was done to illustrate the year 2015 in the film Back to the Future 2. When I first saw it at the age of 9, I thought “wow, that really does look like 2015,” as if I had somehow already seen 2015 and had a logical basis for that reaction.

Since then, I have been awaiting “the future” to align itself with Back to the Future 2. When 2015 comes, you will find me disappointed when there are no skyways, self-drying jackets, or hover boards.

The self-lacing Nikes that were made as replicas of the ones in Back to the Future nearly appeased me, but they didn’t even have a self-lacing mechanism. Since they were auctioned off for between $3500 and $10,000 to certain pre-approved buyers, they were not available to the proletariat anyway. So, as far as I’m concerned, it practically didn’t even happen.

Since the present looks nothing like what I think “the future” should look like, I am quite frustrated and disappointed.

I have had the opportunity to watch the Internet go from the dial-up days when you had to wait to use it when too many users were on at the same time or someone was making a phone call to something more instantaneous and rich with content. And the Internet’s great, but that’s pretty much the best thing we have.

There are other things that we don’t have or still use that make me think that, given our capacity for advanced technology, we are still way too primitive.

I can’t believe we still use baggage carrousels. Want to know how to get free shit? Go to baggage claim at the airport. You will find suitcases full of free clothes, jewelry and electronics, and you can take as many as you like in front of everyone. No one will stop you. We have x-ray machines checking the insides of the items we bring into the airport at security, as well as checking the insides of us in some airports, yet when we go to collect our luggage after a flight, the airports are relying on the honor system. The only time I’ve ever used that baggage ticket given to me with my boarding pass was when the airline lost my luggage, and there’s not much the airline will do if it’s too late.

I’ve written before about how difficult it is having human ears because we can’t close them the way we do other parts of our body like eyes and mouths. We still don’t even have ear plugs that work.

Earplugs are a great way to listen to a muffled version of whatever sound you're blocking out and your own brain pulse.—
blacklisted (@the_blacklisted) June 25, 2012

And there’s a series of other fairly simple, yet essential things that we should have by now that just haven’t even been invented.

it's 2012 and no one's made adult-sized buggy-taxis for napping on the go fuck you I'll spend my money how I want—
blacklisted (@the_blacklisted) May 07, 2012

It's 2012 and I don't have a tamagotchi for keeping track of how many eggs I have left.—
blacklisted (@the_blacklisted) June 14, 2012

It's 2012 and there's still no parthenogenesis injection for food and toilet paper so I never have to leave the house again.—
blacklisted (@the_blacklisted) July 19, 2012

Smart scientists: less nuclear fission and QR codes, more cancer-curing and cookie dough flavored toothpaste.—
blacklisted (@the_blacklisted) June 17, 2012

In the future when our contact lenses can sense the sun and darken themselves to become sun lenses, how will people know we're cool?—
blacklisted (@the_blacklisted) August 06, 2012

HEY SCIENCE YOU BIG IDIOT WHY DOESN'T MY BELLY HAVE A CAPACITY USED/AVAILABLE INDICATOR SO I KNOW WHEN TO STOP RAMMING THE WORLD IN—
blacklisted (@the_blacklisted) August 03, 2012

Do I really have to do everything?

*Image from The Sydney Morning Herald.